Arms. Hate. Me.

I run like a Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot.

If you call the red one right now, I will cut you.

Thanks a lot today. You're a real pal.

Stupid push ups, core busting torture devices and the god forsaken kettle bell! 

"Mom, I can't put my arms down!"

No, seriously. 

The only difference between Randy and I is that he has freezing cold snow while here it is ridonkulously hot with no chance of rain- maybe ever.

Oh, and Randy can put his arms down sans coat. Mine appear to be locked in 90 degree angles.

Joy.

One good thing did happen during this morning's torture: 

(and this is MAJOR!)

I used a band (think stretchy jump rope with looped handles) without getting thwacked in the face.

See? Major.

I am pleased. Particularly since Saturday I Supermaned while running with my dogs

(Is that a word? Supermaned? Superman'd?)

and now my hip looks like buckshot and flip flops are uncomfortable. 

Stupid bruises.

Doesn't this sound like fun?!

Sexy time.

I'm a slug. Or a whale.

Day-eumm!

My ass is sore. 

That Buns o' Steel business is no joke! I am still sore. 

Yesterday I was a gigantic slug during workout all day. It was one of those workouts/ days where everything just felt heavy. 

That soreness was amplified during this morning's TRX workout.

So, TRX is really all about core. 

Core that I don't have. 

I mean, yes, I have a torso, but as far as I'm concerned, I could be filled with fluff. 

Before I decided to go back to school for nursing, and my mind was corrupted with biology, I wanted to do a self- portrait from the inside out. I thought it would be fun to draw all the possibilities of the insides of myself. Being stuffed like a doll or pinata or with cotton candy/ pink insulation were possibilities...

I digress...

So TRX has been ridiculous. 

Coaches are all "use your core!"

Using one's core only works if one has a core to use.

They're v. funny 'cause I've got no core muscles.

Imagine being in a push-up position with your feet in stirrups a foot (12") off the ground. 

Now, those stirrups are wiggly little beasts! I'm usually the one laying on my stomach, trying not to cry. My arms shake as I try to push myself up. 

Kate = beached whale.

Now you get the idea.

So, this morning, as I'm imitating a beached whale, you can imagine my absolute shock as I actually did a push-up. 

On the TRX.

Whoa.

You are invited!

You are cordially invited......

to Bring A Friend Day!

When: Tomorrow, Thursday, August 25

5:30-6:30 am. 

(as in 5:30 in the morning. And yes, that's before the sun comes up. Seeing sunrise sober is amazing, promise.)

Where: at Piedmont Park on the corner of 10th and Argonne

What to bring: Your awesome self, in workout clothes. 

(It may be helpful to sleep in them.)

A towel and some water. 

I also like a dry t-shirt for after.

Why: because it's fun!/ you want a great workout before going about your day/ you really want whip cream on that latte and have no other way of justifying it/ it will make your ass look amazing/ you've heard sunrise is spectacular and want to find out for yourself/ you want you time/ you wish to know if I am full of shit/ do I really need more reasons?/ good 'cause I'm tapped out

So, come. Check it out. See for yourself.

And then come back again next Friday, September 2 for College Colors Day. 

If you are thinking about coming out and joining this fun on a regular basis, I have a treat for you!!!!

Use discount code KATEHALF to register for $149 for four weeks. That juicy little price includes access to the Studio (think: free yoga, plus more TRX awesomeness!) and nutritional counseling.

I really hope to see you tomorrow!

Recap.

So this is what you missed this morning:

1. A giant whiff of honeysuckle. 

Fantastic way to start the day, no?

2. Laying face down in the grass. 

In the dark. 

On a towel. 

It was like being in bed. Or close enough. So much so that I could have slept, prone, at the base of the hill. Alas, this was not to be the case.

2. A burning sensation in your bum that doesn't come from last night's exotic cuisine.

3. Spandex.

It was a requirement for this morning's workout.

Because this is what we did:

Oh, yes.

Actually, I think we skipped this exercise.

And had I known that we were doing Buns of Steel... 

I would have worn a headband.

My mom could beat up your mom.

So my mom turned 65 the other day. 

We went out to eat to celebrate and catch up.

I have to say, my mom looks FANTASTIC!
Not "fantastic for her age" or some other bullshit you make up to try to make someone feel better about not looking 20 40. She looks straight up Wow. 

She's been doing an exercise program for a couple of months now...

Fifteen years ago she couldn't do a push up. Not one. Not even a modified one. Not even a little bit.

It was her fiftieth birthday. She thought she should have a beer. We thought she should do a push up. She discovered she still hated beer and that a push up was a physical impossibility.

When we met for brunch on her 65th birthday, I discovered she can do 40 push ups- in a minute! She can dead lift her body weight. She has a nicely defined line running down the side of her triceps-without flexing.

In short, should kick my ass.

Which is a problem. 

I'm not trying to get my butt kicked by my mom!
It is time to step up this game. 

(On the plus side, I do like the idea of her being here awhile...)

The workout was taken to the next level this morning. My limbs felt alien in their weight. And jumping? What?! Don't you know my hood name is White Girl Can't Jump!?
Wait. Jump up, then run? Who you foolin'?
NO.WAY.

Instructors say "bring it", I say "it has been brought en".
(Or however you say it.)
Yeah.
It was that kind of day.

It's hard to slack when four people who know you can push harder are cheering you on.
You should come see what I mean this Thursday- for free.
See you at 5:30 on the corner of 10th and Argonne!
x.

The Train to Crazy Town

So one of the boot camp instructors and I have been carpooling. We meet a couple of blocks from my house. I usually walk up to our meeting spot... and then keep walking because I'm wound up about being late while he's all, "meh. It'll happen."

Anyhoo, there is some crazy shit that happens within a few blocks of my house.

One of the earliest "You Might be on the Train to Crazy Town If" sightings was two neighbors, fists out, screaming at each other. A third party was trying to mediate these goings on. They stopped screaming as I walked past their house, staring at me as though I was an alien. They resumed screaming as soon as I passed their property line.

Please keep in mind that I live in an older neighborhood. My neighbor on one side is 93. The lady on the other side of me is in her early eighties- and still mows her grass(!). So these neighbors who were yelling were not exactly spring chickens.

Another day I went past a house BLARING gospel music. I heard the music from two blocks away. When I could finally see the house, I discovered all the lights were on; the house was like Las Vegas at Christmas.

Only no one was inside.

Yesterday a house alarm went off. It took forever for someone to turn it off. A few moments later, I heard what I expected to be a cat or raccoon in some trash cans in a nearby house. I turned to see that it was a man.  A man who wanted to talk to me.

Greeeeeeeat.

It's stupid dark and early and dark and I'm not wake and you want to talk?! 

Um, no thanks.

Go back to bed sir.

In juxtaposition to Mr. CreepyTown trying to talk to me while I was sleeping, I did see a brown bunny scampering across the road shortly thereafter.

Today I was thinking about yesterday morning and how I'm glad that it didn't suck like it could have/ man, Mom's gonna wonder if I have mace/ do I have awesome kung-fu moves? I don't think I want to find out/ I should watch my shadow 'cause it extends like fifteen feet in front of me so if I see someone else's shadow.../ Crap. That shadow is only like ten feet... maybe./ I'd better double check...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggghhhhhhhhhh!

I scared all that is holy out of myself. 

With my shadow.

Yeah, it's like that. I passed between street lights and had multiple shadows, one of which was very short. 

And scary.

V happy I did not pee self. That would have been awkward.

It's no Atacama, but that doesn't mean it's easy

From yesterday:

Whoa.

What does it mean if I'm shaking already?

That I'm a sadist? Maybe.

That I'm going to die later today? Probably.

A full session of TRX rocked my face this morning. And the rest of me.

Usually we split boot campers in half and rotate on and off the TRX. We struggle though one exercise, get up, run to another area, do some torturous exercise, and run back for more TRX.

Today was different, though. I spent all morning on the TRX. I did things I'm pretty sure the body isn't supposed to do. I also did a few things that made me feel like a kid on a playground.

When I woke up this morning, I was (am!) sore in place that I'm not usually sore. My shoulders and hips, for example. (dammit, I don't need bigger shoulders!)

I also woke up to this:

Bad ass, no?

And by bad ass, I mean completely and totally nutters.

I saw a TV show that featured the Atacama last week. (I'm a nature junkie!) The Atacama is on the western side of Chile. Yes, right by the Pacific Ocean. So how this is the driest desert on earth is a little beyond me.

A friend of mine runs ultras. (OK. I have a few friends and co-workers that run crazy long distances. I have yet to step up to that crazy train. Anyhoo...) This particular friend put this video on bookface and it got me thinking:

Why do we push ourselves so hard? Why do we constantly feel the need to do more? To be more?

What is it about facing the rawness of nature and the edges of human survival that makes us feel whole? Does it bring us back to the parts of life that are most important? The triumph of human will?

I submit that this is (at least part of) the case.

The issue is that the feeling of "I did it!" doesn't last forever (sad face!), and so we seek out new challenges.

A full session of TRX was an interesting challenge. Not an "I wanna go find a culture as different from

my own as I possibly can and then see how we're the same. Or not" kind of challenge. Nor is it a "Kate versus the weather" or "Kate, you can find a dress, really" kind of challenge. But it was definitely a challenge. Like most sessions of boot camp, I was questioning what I was doing and how long I needed to do it. I was also questioning the mulch (in my pants?! Seriously?!).