morning run

The early morning air is cool on my skin, yet I feel nothing but warmth and the rhythmic thud of my heart. Darkness erases my steps as I make my way through the familiar neighborhood. It has been months since I passed this way, and it may be months until I pass this way again. 

There are seven of us this morning. We move between laughter and silence, jostling for position in a jagged string. Mostly, it seems everyone is enjoying the stillness of the air.

My heartbeat fills my senses as my feet glide silently along uneven ground.

Uphill, downhill, front to back, I run.

I try not to think of the things that keep me awake at night, or of the mountain of work awaiting me. 

I am happy that I finally get to join the others; I've been missing Tuesday and Wednesday morning workouts because of needing to be at the hospital so early.

But that rotation is over.

So now, at least for today, I am able to run.

I press on, faster. 

My heartbeat is lodged in my ears, a constant reminder of living.

The darkness makes no sign of lifting. 

I can see that fall already has an early grasp on the park and the tell-tale signs of colored leaves and cooler weather is more than an empty promise.

For a moment, I long for the smell of decaying leaves.

Then I remember what comes after fall.

I do another front to back

(because I like repeating myself)

and am grateful that I do not have to change my pace.

This morning's run is calm. 

At least, it is on the outside.

My insides are screaming and I fear that everything will fall apart if I stop.

I press onward in a vain effort to outrun my insides. 

Crazytown only looks nice from far away...

Whatever it was that I said about being fast...

I lied. 

A lot.

Circle of Death made me feel I was circling the drain this morning! 

Or was it the total lack of sleep?

Either way: Barf Central.

I think I may add running in circles to jumping on the list of things I don't do.

You see that? I just did it. It's on there.

Sorry I've been a slacker this week with posting. Monday took off without me, Tuesday and Wednesday I was in the hospital, and today I am deadsville. 

Some fun I am!

FTR: I'm not sick in the hospital, I'm doing clinical rotations. 

On a psych ward.

A locked psych ward.

Crazytown only looks nice from far away.

I promise I felt like admitting myself more than once these last few weeks.

I fit right in.

Especially after saying I ran around like a chicken with no head this morning.

I once worked with a guy that swore up and down he had a chicken that he cut the head off of and fed grain to by putting it down it's... throat? What do you call that? (Kinda like that obscure news story, only this chicken didn't last as long). He said it was really hard to catch...

I digress.
5 stations, a zillion forms of pain. Running all kinds of crazy in between.

So that's what I've got.
No circles and a room full of crazies.
How 'bout you?

What is happening?!?!

Ok, all you fast people. 

I'm gonna need you to come back to boot camp now, mmmkay?

Because there is NO WAY that I am the fastest person here.

NO. WAY.

So please come back because this is just weird.

Yeah. That just happened. 

Even the fast people that usually smoke me were off their game Monday.

I don't get it. 

I'd like to say something halfway witty, but...

I've got nothing. 

I'm just confused.

So I'll leave you with an opportunity to live vicariously thanks to a longtime family friend, Perry Julien.

There are mornings

There are mornings and there are mornings.

Today was one of them.

Again.

Only this morning as 12 of us stood bleary eyed on the sidewalk counting the instructors

time out.

 (this counting instructors thing is a game we like to play. (what can I say? it's the little things.) 

in this game we play when we see a lot of instructors, we assign an instructor to a boot camper. 

today we realized that three of us would have to share. we're cool with that.)

time in

and wondering what sort of medieval torture they had in store for us today (because it was not TRX. (sad face, I know!)), I began to think about what an amazing support system our instructors are. 

This support system became more important as we learned about the workout. Can I just say that there is NO WAY I could have done half of what I did today without their support?

I mean, how does one make running between cones interesting the fifteenth time?

They challenge me- all of us- with every step.

Coach Silly Fast, Coach Socks, Coach Closet Sadist, Coach Where does that speed come from and how can I get it, Coach Cheerleader, Coach I know how to push you to the edge of breaking... 

You guys are fan-freaking-tastic.

You kicked my ass. 

Again.

And mother heifer! 

I totes almost forgot! (Actually, I'd really like to forget!)

I was reminded of why I like running this morning.

Agility drills.

That shit was just funny. 

We know jumping is not exactly my strong point. 

Hippopotami (or hippopotamuses, take your pick) don't jump. 

Seriously, they don't.

So why the hell ya wanna make me jump through hoops (literally)? 

Dyyying over here!

20 steps on a ladder (on the ground, not up). Repeat

20 double steps on a ladder. Repeat

20 sideways grapevine-esuqe steps on a ladder. Repeat

Repeat all of these some more.

Hop through hoops.

Win award for being most un-coordinated.

Ummmmm.... yeah.

That effing ladder was like the penultimate in ADHD torture- and waaay too early in the morning.

I'm searching for the rhythm, I find it, and... 

Oh, look at that! 

Shiny! 

What the hell? 

Toe pick! 

I find the rhythm... 

Oh look! The ladder has a pattern!

What the ef?!

What are my arms doing?

Faster arms?

Toe pick!

Oh, crap! There's someone behind me.

Gotta go...

I find the rhythm...

Hey! I think I see a...

Toe pick!

Umph!

How in hell did the guys not burst out laughing?

And that is why I run.

It's all I can handle.

Now, if I could find some people to run right beside me through life and keep me as  focused and encouraged as the coaches this morning...

I might make it through the rest of today.

chill out

So somebody spent a good fifteen minutes Wednesday telling me about how badly they hurt and how nothing could possibly help ease their pain.

And they weren't wiling to quit running. 

I told them about 

this.

And then I laughed maniacally.

Because that shit hurts.

And by hurts, I mean that I cramped up in about 40 seconds and couldn't stop shaking for a good 30 minutes afterwards. 

Sounds like fun, hunh?!

Smiling dudes in the tub. See? Fun. 

Articles on ice baths always make me think it should look like this:

hat, reading material, hot beverage... good times!

But really, it looks more like this:

(Did she just let out a Nancy Kerrigan "Why me?!!?!")

I'm thinking about doing it now. 

Because I am not about to quit running.


And this morning's workout? 
It was running. Lots of running.
Running from the house I am housesitting at to camp, running around the park at various speeds, running.


Aaaand my body hates me.
(Puh-leaase. What else is new?)




Also, Cabbagetown Romp and Stomp registration is open. 
Go here to register.

Announcement

If I were to take a moment and be honest, I'd say that there is a  big shit storm in my life right now. 

Possibly, dare I say, a douchepocalypse?

As my world turns upside down, and I am left wondering what my next moves will be, (while still trying to maintain some form of focus on the ridiculously challenging classes I'm taking- silly nursing school!), I decided that I should exercise more. 

Exercise more as in, I went to a TRX class at The Studio. 

"What's that?" you ask. 

Oh, did I forget to mention that boot camp membership comes with access to the Studio at Brookhaven?!

Well, crap.

Announcement:

Boot camp membership comes with access to  Brookhaven Fitness Studio. 

So basically, it's a gym membership with the addition of outside classes/ personal training. And since I hate gyms, this totally works.

So anyway, I broke down and went to a TRX class yesterday.

Whoa. Back up. Hold the phone.

So over the last couple of months, I've gone from being one of the slowest people in camp to one of the faster ones 

(I KNOW... WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!?!). 

My weight has stayed the same, but the way my clothes fit has definitely changed. I can definitely do a push-up. I am not all fluff and muffin-y around the waist. I can get through most workouts without thinking I am definitely going to die.

At least, I could until this morning. 

The TRX class yesterday was awesome. And I loved it. 

I did not love trying to do sit-ups or hold a plank position for push-ups this morning. 

My body hates me.

Like, first three weeks of boot camp hates me.

Thank you, Coach Awesome; I'm dying.

And Coach I- Want-to-Make-Your-Workout-Harder-'Cause- I'm-Sadistic-Like-That, uphill sit- ups are SO not my friend. 

Thanks for holding my feet.

Hippopotamus-ified

Y'all, it feels like it has been for-ev-or since I've been here.

I went on a running date. And it was awesome.

I went on a trail run. And it sucked. 

What the what?! 

I know. I didn't think it was possible either.

Evidently my foot wasn't happy after/ about the Superman that I took a week ago. Whatevs.

Another session of boot camp started.

And yours truly missed it.

'Cause I was on the psych ward at my local hospital.

I admit, it's just fun to say.

Clinicals start too darn early this rotation to make it to bc every day. Which is destroying me. How am I supposed to become un-hippopotamus- ified if I am expected to do this alone?

So now that it's Thursday...

I finally got to go to get my early exercise on.

And do you know what happened? 

I totally forgot about everything outside of the delicious fartlek exercises.

(Hee-heee. Kate said fartlek.)

Thank you exercise for taking my mind off my life!

My muscles burned with an inner fire. My legs were doing that Parkinsonian tremor thing after a minute of air chair/ wall sit/ fuck my thighs are burning/ whatever torture you want to call this exercise. And running up hills? Backwards? You have got to be kidding me. Wait. You want me to do what? Again?!

It went on like this all morning.

And I still feel like a hippopotamus.