For three days I couldn't concentrate on anything but the doctor's lips as the words "rule out tumor" repeated over and over in my head.
On day 2, something snapped. If this is a tumor, I'm not going down without a fight. I'm not going down like this. Sure, I'm bone tired, and tired of being tired. And tired of being lightheaded and short of breath while doing something I was able to do countless times only a few months ago.
So I did what I've always done when I get upset: I ran.
I ran and walked (no way I could run the whole time! I'm too out of shape!) for three miles.
And I am. SO. SORE.
I was sore Sunday and so decided to jog two miles, just to relieve the aching in my muscles.
The shock of actually running caused me to forget that fantastically lovely sensation of thighs rubbing together (Yes, they do that now. Le sigh.), the sound of my breath heaving mightily in my chest, and the odd everything-is-jiggling-to-its-own-beat/everything-is-out-of-rhythm sensation I get when I haven't run in a while.
I thought about running all week.
12 hour clinicals and tests prevented me from running again until Saturday, when I (on a whim) ran/walked the SheMoves 5K.
It was awesome! I have bronchitis and was coughing, I was uncomfortable, and my thighs were relentless in their jiggling and my lungs screamed needily. But I did it.
I don't know exactly where to go from here. I mean, how to train. Do I do Couch to 5K? Do I jog when I can, as long as I can?
I really don't know. The lightheaded-ness seems worse on days I exercise. I go back to the cardiologist in 2 weeks and the endocrinologist in three. Do I wait for test results to make any plans? I've been in this holding pattern...
