Positive

From Sometime in September:

I stared at the little pink plus like it was an alien. 

Even though I already knew. 

What else could it be? 

I almost didn't do the test. Mr. Blue Eyes had been after me to take the test and call him all day. What kind of lunacy is that?! Take the test and call him? Seriously?! 

Sir, have we met?! Hells, no, I am not missing the expression on your face when I tell you that I am carrying your child! 

He was so ecstatic when I finally told him that I thought his face might break. 

So far, I haven't had any unusual food cravings. I have had plenty of repulsions. Oh, wait. Except for pepper. I can't stand pepper. Hate the stuff. Red pepper and especially cayenne pepper don't count because they are good. But black pepper.... I'm getting itchy thinking about it. Except that I'm not. I want it. Which is weird.

And my boobs are killing me. "Breast tenderness" was described by someone who has 

a) never had it or

b) wants to trick women into thinking that they can put up with the insanity of willingly having a parasite grow inside them for nine months. 

-PS- if you ever want to upset your baby's father, just call the mass of cells in your uterus a parasite. It works wonders. 

So yeah, my boobs hurt. And itch. And make me want to cry when I roll over in the middle of the night. 

And my pants don't fit the same. 

Who gains weight only in their stomach? oh... right. Gotcha. 

At this rate, I'll be packing a double-wide by the time this kid gets here.

We can skip the part where I am pretty sure my intestines have been replaced by a series of balloons tied in torturous knots as though they belong in the balloon animal freak show.

Also? How did I miss the part about being soooooooo tired?! 

This is not like normal tired. This is more like mono tired. 

This is more "I've been up four hours, now it is time for a two hour nap" tired. 

I am absolutely terrified as I have no idea how I will ever make it through my clinical rotation. Nights. That's when I, being a somewhat normal human, sleep. 

Not work. 

Sleep. 

I am so screwed!!