just being real

And because I finished ate an entire pint of ice cream before 11 am, I give you this:

“What is REAL?" asked the Velveteen Rabbit one day... "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When [someone] loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.

"Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand... once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.”    

In favor of being real, I share my Morning Warning:

I'm a little cranky. 

And by a little I mean that I ate an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's. The ENTIRE thing.

I've never done that before.

Today I need an emotional sign post for anyone who comes within a 25 foot radius of me. 

"I may cry uncontrollably if you look this direction"

I'm like Medusa, only backwards.

I need a second sign: 

"I'm having a hard time right now and I need to bitch about it for 2 minutes. I need you to listen, hug me, tell me that it sucks, and then offer me a drink/ offer to throat punch the offender/ offer ice cream/ offer a Kleenex/ offer diamonds or something similar."

Unfortunately for me, I did not have this sign this morning when talking to my sweet husband. (In fact, I usually forget this sign when in conversation with a man and end up regretting it.) On second thought, perhaps it is more unfortunate for him because I ended up in tears. Before 8AM. And you know it's a bad day when there's tears before 8am.

Thank heavens I get to go hang out with the Blue Hairs tonight. 

Yeah, you heard me. I'm taking a water aerobics class to avoid Mommy Butt. It's not really working (see first statement of this post), but it lets me pretend I'm not totally becoming one with the couch.

I've been going twice a week (this is week 3). The class on Tuesdays is hilarious. well, not so much the class, as me, trying to do some kind of dance routine under water.

If you've ever read this blog (or met me in real life), you probably know that I... um, see video. It explains better.

 

So yeah, Little Miss Coordination here tries to pretend I can do the watusi, electric slide, cha-cha, and whatever newfangled moves the drill sargent instructor comes up with. Tuesday it was Gangnam Style. And great Balls of Fire. And some Latin- inspired thing that my body protests. If you think cha-cha isn't so hard, I invite you to try it when you are up to your neck in water. It's just not the same. Trust.

While I don't know how many hip swivels are in store tonight, I do know I'll feel a lot better after the water boarding Fun Time With Blue Hairs is over.

Meanwhile, try to avoid looking my direction, lest you get hit by one of the involuntary lasers/ tears coming out of my eyes.